Finding God's Shadow

Martin Luther uttered some provocative words four hundred some years ago “I have so much business that I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer.” This inspires me. I am not sure I fully understand how to do this, but I am inspired. As my appointment book fills up, rarely do I think “Wow, I have a lot going on today! I better spend more time in prayer!”

This is exactly why I needed to schedule a large block of time to commune with God. I took my Bible and a pen and headed for a wilderness preserve near my home. Holes of sunlight found their way through the dense canopy of trees under which I walked, illuminating the misty morning air. Our Sun is an amazing thing—floating in existence we call “space” some ninety three million miles away, a distance my mind cannot fathom. Somehow it sends energy, whatever that is, all this way and just the right amount of energy to provide heat for the water cycle, and fuel for photosynthesis, and warmth for my skin as I am a little cold this morning. I cannot help but to be drawn to worship as I ponder God’s mysterious provision for us in the Sun.

I find a tree along a creek. The tree seems to be sending its roots down into the creek. This fascinates me and also provides a convenient place to dangle my feet over the creek bed. As I sit I try to pray but am too distracted by all the noises going on around me—birds, and squirrels, and strange objects that seem to be falling from the trees into the creek with a loud “kaplunk.” Once I learn to appreciate all this activity as part of God’s creation, new noises from within me take their place. My mind is busy pondering the activities that lie ahead and playing different scenarios from the previous day. Often I play stories in my head where I help someone in distress and get to be the hero or am recognized for something brilliant. Usually this is what fills my “quiet time.”

I ask God for focus and find a Psalm to read. I am encouraged at first when I read Psalm 63 and hear the Psalmist proclaim “my soul thirsts for you, my body my longs for you in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” I am encouraged because I can feel the fervor of David’s passion for God, and then I begin to wonder does my soul thirst for God? My soul thirsts for something, but mostly I think it is praise and adoration from man. I thank God for reminding me of this, ask for forgiveness, and ask Him to continue to work in me.

As I continue to read I come across verse 7 “Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.” I pick up a thought that began yesterday, thinking about the shadow of God’s wings. The notes in my study Bible say it’s a conventional Hebrew metaphor for protection against oppression just as shade protects us from the oppressive energy of the Sun. I don’t usually think of God as some sort of big bird, but my mind gets carried away with the analogy. If God is a bird, He is probably flying over my head if I am in His shadow. If I want to stay in His shadow, I have to go where He goes. I think understand Martin Luther now. My activity-filled days are mostly driven by human ambition. I picture myself in the previous analogy flailing my arms as I zig-zag through the desert sometimes in God’s shadow and sometimes not. It feels good because at the end of the day, I have accomplished a lot but I am unable to slow down long to evaluate whether or not it was worth it. I picture Martin Luther praying and discerning where God is and peacefully walking in God’s shadow even in the middle of all of his business. He is walking intentionally and with purpose while I run circles around him and God’s shadow.

Oh, how I need more of these long prayer times to keep me in God’s shadow!

My First Talk

I have been working with InterVarsity for three weeks now. Students returned to campus the last weekend of August. My primary function this first week was to meet as many new students as possible. We set up information tables near the freshmen dorms to let everyone know we were on campus and to invite them to our first large group meeting. About Monday of this first week we found out that our speaker for the large group meeting had to cancel. They elected me to speak instead! I (very) nervously said yes. And so I spent the rest of my first week on campus mostly in seclusion preparing for my talk. My talk went well and I am thankful to have had opportunity to be the first to communicate the gospel to the many new students at the meeting!

Almost Official

I received word this morning via email that I will be officially employed by InterVarsity! This is wonderful news for me and Laura. It has only been 26 days since I received approval to begin fund development.

Earlier this month I began my reading list for seminary. Currently I am reading Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. I was convicted after reading his chapter on prayer that too many of my prayers are vague and unspecific. I pray that God would bless, and guide, and fill and direct which are all great things, but at the end of the day I don't know whether or not they are answered. And so I have determined to pray with specificity. This morning I was thinking about fund development and prayed that I would receive 75% of my funding by the end of the day so that I could begin work with InterVarsity. I knew I was being quite bold and perhaps acting a little impatiently. I finished the day with only 70% of my support pledged but I have been appointed to employment regardless! It is awesome how God works even beyond our imagination.

Big News!

We received big news this week. After several weeks of waiting, I am now official with InterVarsity. This doesn't mean that I have a job yet. It means I am now clear to begin fund raising. Honestly, the whole process kind of intimidates me, but we are convinced that this is where God wants us, and so we will be faithful to His calling. I am excitied to reconnect with many people that I have not talked to much since college. I am still waiting on supplies from the national InterVarsity office, but I was able to send out a small set of prayer letters this week. Last night I ordered my business cards (it makes me feel so offical).

Provisional Appointment

We are now one step closer on our journey to InterVarsity staff work! I had my interview with the area directors a couple of Saturdays ago. Last week I was formally offered a provisional appointment to InterVarsity staff. This means they would like to offer me the job but we are still waiting on some paperwork. I am hoping that the paperwork will be completed this week. Once it is my very lengthy application and references will be sent off to Madison, Wisconsin, InterVarsity's national headquarters. They will set up an account in my name and send me many, many envelopes. I can then begin the monumental task of fundraising. We will be raising a lot more money than I originally anticipated ($68,356). Part of this is my salary and benefits and the rest covers the costs for ministry work. I will need to raise 75% ($51,267) of my support in order to begin work with IV in the fall. This will certainly be a work of God! We are hopeful now, but you can pray that we will not lose heart as the summer and our campaign progress.

Rough Draft of our First Prayer Letter

It has been long time since I have caught up with many of you. Laura and I have had a couple of big events in the past year. We are back in our house after spending a couple of months in a hotel because of a house flood. Laura is enjoying her time at home with our son Benjamin who is a year and half now. (It is amazing how much parenting changes your life!) I was accepted to seminary full time this winter. I will start work on my masters of divinity at Biblical Seminary in September. This is certainly a time of great excitement (and also nervousness) for us both.

The question we are grappling with now is “What does the Lord have for us next?” As we have prayed through this question, I have been presented with an opportunity to do full time ministry on the campus of the University of Delaware. This is much more than I could have hoped or imagined. For the past four years I have had a home at Kirk Middle School, investing daily in the lives of many teenagers and their families. Although leaving my ministry at the middle school will be painful, I am strongly persuaded that the Lord is calling us to move on.

I will be joining the staff of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. InterVarsity for those of you who don’t know is an evangelical college ministry which seeks to transform the lives of students and faculty and equip them to change the world. Working on a diverse campus like the University of Delaware will give me the opportunity to have global contacts without having to leave my hometown. I am excited to not only put into practice what I will be learning in seminary, but to build relationships with the lost and hurting individuals on the campus.

As we begin this new adventure in our lives you can pray for us to be faithful in keeping in step with His Spirit. We want to be obedient to where it seems God is leading us, but at the same time we are a little apprehensive about what the future will look like. Specifically, we are responsible for raising 100% of our support to be able to do InterVarsity. I am hoping to start work with InterVarsity in August, so we have about six weeks to raise $69,000. This is a small mountain to climb, but God has encouraged us so much already in the process. In many ways, we are thankful to not have all of the resources in and of ourselves. We are forced to depend on others and allow others to be a part of our ministry with InterVarsity.

Thank you for reading this far. We are looking forward to hearing from you and sharing with you more the burden that has been placed on our hearts!